Broomsticks And Owls

by **AccioNiffler** » Monday 15 September 2003 10:31:55pm

Okay, I have a very simple problem that I just cannot figure out.

My best friend from the highschool I go to is going out with this kid named Dan. I hate him. He is insensitive, controling, and a complete jerk. He this he's all that and God's gift to women, but he's not. He hangs out with burnouts, heck, he is a burnout!

Dan hates me. He thinks I'm annoying and rude (though I actually am rude to him on account of my dislike for him). He's such a jerk to me.

I think Sarah should break up with him because he is a bad person (I thought this before they were even going out). But I dont want to be mean about telling her that. The situation confuses me on how I should act pertaining to this problem. What do you guys think?

by **Gower** » Monday 15 September 2003 10:40:03pm

If he is a bad person, then Sarah will realise this and break up with him without you having to do anything. My mate is going out with a girl that i hate, but i havn't said anything.

by **AccioNiffler** » Monday 15 September 2003 10:44:47pm

*sigh* yes, I know you're right, I have to let her make up her mind. She's just so naieve sometimes... I can't play mom everytime she has a problem I guess...

by **Ju-DedoH** » Monday 15 September 2003 11:21:09pm

If you told her, she could find it insulting, which would make her relationship with this person harder to break, and she could be mad at you ....

by **Gower** » Monday 15 September 2003 11:24:40pm

I'm sure she will see sense...

by **Broccoli** » Tuesday 16 September 2003 9:40:42am

the only problem can be that she DOESN'T realise it herself in time... Sometime feelings makes us blind and it is important at least to show her that he is not so good as she thinks... not to give her advice but perhaps just to talk to her.

by **Barry Trotter** » Tuesday 16 September 2003 8:57:31pm

well she may not lsten to you if you do tell her, and it may make yours and her relationship a little strained.

i went out with someone who i now know is a VERY VERY bad person i wouldn't have listened to anyone if they had tried to tell me though.

YOu just need to be around for when she finally sees him for what he is, because she really will.

by **pinky p** » Wednesday 17 September 2003 12:23:14am

i agree with barry and everyone else
i think in time she will see how bad this person is. if you tell her she might just want to keep going out with him to prove you wrong :-?

by **Violet** » Thursday 18 September 2003 1:28:36am

I have a friend who's been seeing a complete jerk for 3 years!!! So many times me, and her other friends have told her that he's a waste of space and she can do so much better, but she wont have it.
Even when we've told her about him cheating on her she just breaks up with him, comes crying to us, then gets back with him anyway. She's lost a lot of friends through it all, and still fails to see that it all comes back to him.
I think that you should try and bite your tongue and not say anything. Either she'll see him for what he is, or continue with it until something happens where she really gets hurt, then she'll need you. As hard as it is just try and be supportive

by **pinky p** » Thursday 18 September 2003 2:42:18am

*starts singing* just do a dance, sing a song, be happy, happy, happy! here, violet, eat one of my magical happiness cookies- proven to cure the downers! :eek:

by **Just Mom** » Thursday 18 September 2003 8:12:02pm

Greetings all. I have a friend who has been MARRIED to a jerk for 8 years and has reproduced(children) with him three times. Unfortunately most jerks don't get less jerky over time. My friend puts up with the most atrocious behavior from him, and all of us who are on the outside, are just like you-even though you're much younger- and we wonder the same thing: what can we do to get her to wake up and get away from this guy? She's even at the point where she knows he's awful and not going to change, but still she stays...

Most of her friends have now come to the conclusion that being direct might be better at this stage for we also, have grown weary of hearing about the latest crisis, only to have her two days later going home and resuming life as if nothing had happened.

Accio, your friend will probably figure this out for herself. Perhaps you can lead by example. And if the guy gets really obnoxious and you can't stand being around the two of them, I don't think there's anything wrong with you setting some boundaries with her. Sometimes love means saying no. Parents do it all the time. You are in a way, like Neville Longbottom here. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies...and even more to stand up to your friends.

by **AccioNiffler** » Thursday 18 September 2003 9:03:07pm

Thank you all so much for your advice! I decided that maybe I should bite my tongue for now. I mean, its really tough for me to just let Sarah go out with this as... um, meany (hehe), but I guess she has to learn some things on her own. I guess that that is the best way to handle things for now, I mean if it gets really bad I'll HAVE to say something to her, but for now I guess I can let her be. Thanks again you guys *big hug* :grin:

by **furnacedevil247** » Sunday 15 February 2004 8:51:03pm

just be honest. if it really bothers you you shouldnt keep it from her

by **Nobby** » Tuesday 17 February 2004 5:22:40pm

Tell sarah bout your worries! im sure she will appreciate it even though its probably not wot she wants to hear

by **Krum** » Saturday 28 February 2004 2:11:33pm

I think it's a hormonal thing(LOVE is a hormonal thing).You can't make her leave him without separating them for a long while or keeping her busy while he's around, so that they would lose interest to each other.

And, yes, I know I'm a jerk

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