Do you know that feeling when whatever you considered as your life so far just seems to break into pieces? A few weeks ago, my boyfriend decided I don't fit in the kind of future he envisions for himself and that it's better to break up now before it hurts too much. But I, for my part, have crossed that point long ago. I love him in a way that I'd die for him without even hesitating for a second, and I've felt this way for a long time. Loving him has changed me a great deal, and the person I am now just can't seem to find her place. All the plans I used to have for my life before I met him don't seem to be mine any longer, they're not even worth the strength it takes to get up in the morning, or just to smile. People keep telling me that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I just don't know whether it kills me or whether it makes me stronger.All I can tell is that I can't go on living like that. I know it's such a trivial matter, so many people have gone through it, but I just feel so empty. It's not only his absence, but what seems like the absence of a future that makes me wanna end it now. Life feels so insignificant now, it's hardly more than just trying to survive the day without even knowing what to survive for. If there's anything I can do to fill the emptiness, or to be me again, please tell me!!
Sorry for being so pathetic