My confusing lovelife!

[Beccaroo]

erm...i hate my boyfriends because he has been bad before but i also love him, it's very confusing! I also fancy someone else but it's a secret, so nobody is getting hurt. Do you think this makes me bad?

[Beccaroo]

oh i meant boyfrienD! I only have the one for now! Sorry, that was a mistype, i'm not THAT bad!

[han lin]

becca, i hope you don't mind me asking but what did your boyfriend do that was bad, did he cheat on you?

I don't think you are bad for fancying someone else, half the worlds population fancy Brad pitt, but it doesn't make them bad. I think as long as you don't act on it you should be fine

[Mint]

Becca, you are 17 right? Its not like you are getting married to him soon - so its ok.

And most people hate/love their boyfriends. And han lin is right about fancying.

In other words - you don't have a problem.

[Neo]

You are just a normal girl, having normal problems, and living a normal life; it is very common to fancy someelse, but you like your boyfriend, so only think of you like him so much to not see how much you can like that someone you fancy.

[Mistress Siana]

I don't fully agree on fancying somebody else being normal...I think that really depends. How do you feel when you are with your boyfriend? Do you actually FEEL bad? If you think your crush on another person affects your relationship, I wouldn't just try to forget about it. I mean, the problem with such a situation is that you might run the risk of fooling yourself and thus become unhappy.
Of course, if you and your boyfriend both know that your relationship isn't meant to be a real deep and lasting one, and if you think your crush doesn't matter, there's nothing to feel bad about.
So I'd say it's important to find out whether you only think you should feel bad or if you actually DO feel bad...because if you do, something is wrong.

But I'm not really sure I that explains what I have in mind...

[Holly Golightly]

I agree with Siana!
If you are in a serious relationship with your boyfriend, not just some 2 week thing, then you've probably got a problem is you are feeling someting for someone else...

But if this isn't a very serious relationship, and your liking someone else is just a 5 second cruch, then that is kinda normal I suppose!!!

But just remember, cheating on someone is v bad, and the kindof thing that you will always remember that you have done...

[Blaise Zabini]

Similar to what's been said, I think that this all depends on how serious the relationship is. Now, if you were thirty-five and married and you had a 'crush' on someone, it ould be bad. But if you're nineteen and in a casual relationship, then it's not as bad. Try talking to your boyfriend, not about this other guy, but about your relationship in general, and see how he stands on it.
And about hating/loving him, that could really go either way as well. I've loved hating guys and hated loving guys so many times, that I've stopped counting. I think that a general solution to all of this is just to talk. Nothing bad cancome out of it!

[Neo]

Yeah, Zab has a good point there, talking is the best way to find solutions, not talking usually ends in problems

[TDM]

heh, well, i may not be the best person to get advice from, but there's nothing wrong with fancying someone else in a relationship like that. as han lin said, as long as you don't act on it, it'll be fine.

[Mistress Siana]

NO!! Not if you are with are person that truly loves you. I think being with someone and at the same time thinking of somebody else is the owrst thing you could do to somebody.

[Neo]

And if the other person is doing the same?

[Mint]

THan its totally ok I guess

[han lin]

if the other person is doing the same, maybie you shouldn't be together at all... but if its only thinking things like "cor he's fit" then its ok but if its like " i think i'm in love with that fit guy" then BAD MOVE

[Neo]

But if yo are in love with a girl, that has boyfriend, then why you shouldn't be with your actual girlfriend.