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 Post subject: lil story
PostPosted: Sunday 28 March 2004 11:34:06pm 
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Sixth Year
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Location: Flying around on an old broom
k constructive criticism or reviews welcomed :popcorn:


Huge waves crashed against the wooden ship Sea Plunder as it made its way through the rough seas. Bog-Breath, who was on lookout called down to the crew on deck: “Land ahoy, me hearties.” A fox; that was soaked through to the bone with the waves called back.
“You sure Bog-Breath ‘cos if your wrong me sword’ll be at your throat rat…” The fox, commonly known as Hiss was in a foul temper. The storm, which had been expected to last one night, had raged for five days now, soaking Hiss at every opportunity. Trust it to be his week on night watch he thought, sourly wishing he were sitting in his cabin with some sea-grog.
“‘Tis definitely land Sir, two points east,” Bog-Breath yelled down screwing up his face against the elements. Hiss quickly issued his orders then made his way to the captain’s cabin. He reached the cabin eventually slipping and sliding on the drenched deck. After knocking the fox hurried in to the luxury cabin, saluting as soon as he entered. The person lying in the hammock was a badger. A huge male in his prime a fearsome sight normally but with the multiple earrings and the massive double sided axe, Fateblade was a terrifying sight.
“ Sir, lands been spotted to the east ” Hiss said, fingering his sword hilt. He often did this when nervous and this was no exception. Hiss waited for his captain to acknowledge what he had said but with no answer forth coming he began to repeat his statement: “ Sir there is land…”
The huge badger opened his eyes.
“ I heard what you said the first time fox!” said Fateblade his voice quiet but creating the same amount of fear as if he had shouted. Hiss began to apologise but the badger silenced him with his hand. “ Tie up the boat in the reef, get my senior officers to create a fire and send the rest of the army to forage for food,” Fateblade said then added. “Oh, and send the scouts out”. Hiss saluted promptly then walked backwards towards the door: it was dangerous to turn your back on Fateblade…

After the fox left Fateblade twirled around his battleaxe handling it as if it was a feather. The badger was happy, all was going to plan and they were making good progress in their slave-driven boat. Fateblade was pleased with his crew now. With his training they were not a rabble of corsairs anymore, they were a disciplined army!

*

The groove was the squirrel’s territory but to anyone else it was just another patch of forest. It spread quite far into the wood. But on the floor of the forest it looked just like any other part. Their problem was that they were looking in the wrong place. The trees were alive with movement, squirrels jumping from one to the other chatting in casual voices. They were silent when forest dwellers went by, hiding immobile in the trees. The leader a powerful male with a browny orange colour tail. He rose from his dwelling in the tree to greet a squirrel that was approaching.
“ What have you found Lightpaw?” Slimmer said looking at the young squirrels worried face.
“ Sir I was scouting like you said, I was around by the beach when I saw this sea rats ship in the reef with corsairs in longboats headin’ for land sir!” Lightpaw said leaning against a branch for support. Slimmer patted Lightpaw on the head remarking: “Good job Lightpaw”. Swinging up to a higher branch the Squirrel pulled down a large horn blowing down it to call a council of war. The Squirrels reacted instantly, all swinging in the direction of the large oak. The old tree was their meeting place all the Squirrels finding their place. The elders sat at the front to show respect but also due to their poor hearing. Slimmer addressed them talking loudly.
“ Friends, we are or maybe about to encounter dangerous days. I’m not talking about the other forest animals but of the hordes of vermin that are gathering on our shores! They have come on a huge vessel Lightpaw tells us… now to decide what to do?” Slimmer reported waiting for the hands to go up. There was a babble of voices expressing their concerns. An elder stood up saying: “ When did they come and will they be bothering us?”
“ Good question brother Dortbow, we can assume they have only just arrived because Lightpaw saw them still coming ashore in long boats. As for if they will bother us, have any vermin ever left us alone? No, we must act, we shall send out scouts to get some more information but until they return we shall not act,” Slimmer said shouting: “who is with me?!” The crowd erupted with cheers all the warriors raising their bows. After the crowd dispersed three young people stayed back, now approaching Slimmer.
“ Sir you need some scouts so we are offering our services, we’re young and fit. Just give us a chance sir!” Lightpaw said along with his two childhood friends Penlix and Sildon, who were pleading with their eyes. Slimmer was about to immediately answer with a prominent no, but thought about the possibilities. These three young squirrels were the fastest of the tribe and were soon to be reaching adult-hood. They needed experience and this was the perfect opportunity… Slimmer considered then answered: “ You may go but you mustn’t get captured or lead them back here, understood?” The Squirrel leader was deadly serious and it showed in his voice. He tried to sound professional mentioning the fact they could die but inside he was dreading the thought. Penlix nodded her head then began speaking: “Sir should we collect our provisions then leave without a fuss or...” Slimmer cut in saying: “ Yes that will be best, if you wait around and tell everyone they will only want a leaving party and there will be protests. It is better if you leave now, go well young ones!” With that he went swinging from the branches. Sildon sat down on the oaks huge branch and snapped off a twig.
“ God, my hearts pumpin’ already and we haven’t even got anywhere near the vermin yet,” Sildon said smiling up into his two friends faces. Penlix fell off the branch catching himself with his tail.
“You aren’t arf funny Sildon,” Lightpaw said patting her friend on the back. Sildon smiled and pretended that he was messing. “Well I think we should go over to mother Furlus for our grub, are we in agreement?” Lightpaw said already swinging towards a young sycamore. Sildon raced off shouting to Penlix: “Last one to mother Furlus’ is a old toad!” Penlix smiled, swinging agilely from one tree to the next catching up with Sildon in an instant.
“What was that you said about being an old toad, slow poke!” Penlix said, using Sildon as a springboard to the next branch.

Slimmer watched amused from a distance with his wife Juster. “Are you sure they will be ok?” Juster said watching the trio make way through the trees. She had been arguing with her husband for nearly an hour now and had only just come to terms with the fact the young ones were going.
“They will be fine, they have grew up a lot since the days when they were naughty cubs,” Slimmer said his lazy eyes watchful and alert.
“ I hope your right Slim, I hope your right,” Juster murmured to herself as much as anyone else.
*

The trio set out through the many different trees heading towards the beach of the north west coast. They travelled light carrying only their provisions and small bow and arrows. “ Our tribe will be ok won’t they, even if this sea rats force is big? We’ll be able to defend ourselves…” Sildon said his face creased up into a frown.
“Of course it will friend, our tribe is strong. Have you ever seen us defeated?” Penlix said reassuring Sildon.
“No, I don’t suppose I have seen us defeated.”
They carried on in silence for a while until the trees started to thin out. The thick oaks began to give way to young thin trees; the dense undergrowth had begun to turn into sparse bushes.
“ We should really stop now, otherwise soon we will be out in the open with no-were to camp for the night,” Lightpaw said dropping down from a sycamore.
“ Ok Lightpaw, I’ll just start up the fire…” Sildon said picking up dry sticks.
“No Sildon! The Corsairs may see the smoke and get our position,” Lightpaw said a tone of urgency in his voice.
“ But Lightpaw, Corsairs, you said they were dumb. Surely they wouldn’t spot smoke from far away.”
“ I know Sildon but…these Corsairs. I can’t explain it. They are more alert, disciplined. They seem to be extra organised, I just don’t want to take any risks.”
“ Right then cold dinner it is then! What would you chaps say to nut bread and honey then a slice of Apple pie?” Penlix said, trying to lighten the mood. Lightpaw realised he had over-reacted slightly and tried to make up for it by being enthusiastic about there rather average dinner. Sildon cut the bread while Lightpaw and Penlix gathered moss and other soft materials that could suffice as their beds for the night. So the three squirrels sat, on a dead oak branch, eating. The moon was bright and many shadows were cast into the night. All was silent except the sounds of the woodland.

Down on the beach it was a different story. Captains shouted out orders, slaves were brought ashore and general mayhem ensured. That was how it was until a very long slim boat glided into an inlet by the beach. The long boat was highly decorated with bright colours but also decorated with many skulls hanging from the sides. As the boat hit the side one of the skulls cracked and fell off. The steer’s rat on board was grabbed by a powerful fist and dragged into the propped up cabin that resided at the centre of the boat.
“ Did you crack a skull on the way in rat?” said Fateblade his voice barely above a whisper.
“ No sir, … the boat gently knocked the side,” the unfortunate rat mumbled.
“ You lie rat! Do not lie to your master or it will be your skull that replaces the one you broke!”
“Please sir, it was getting old and the water was too murky to see the stones beneath!”
Fateblade looked out of the window and stared at the water; it was clear as day.
“You have lied yet again to your master, now you will pay the price,” Fateblade growled towering over the quivering rat. “You shall swim back to Sea Plunder and clean her from top to bottom, and I mean every were. When you are finished you will swim back to the beach and report to me. Then I will personally inspect your cleaning for myself…so you best make it good.” The rat saluted and ran straight out onto the deck of the small craft, his claws barely stopping him from sliding as he dived over board.
Fateblade walked out of the cabin and jumped over into the water the warm water sloshing up to his knees. He looked out over the beach at thousands of rats, ferrets and stoats setting up camps while others began getting ready to set out into the woods. The golden beach was soon littered with tents made with animal skin; the slaves putting them up. Fateblade wandered around the beach supervising work before finally retiring to a large tent constructed just for him. Without the sun burning into his back Fateblade could think straight about how to conquer his next victim…the forest.


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PostPosted: Monday 29 March 2004 6:21:26am 
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Fully Qualified Wizard
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Joined: Thursday 4 March 2004 5:13:01pm
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I liked the different animal characters. :) That is a cool twist. :razz:

When the three young squirrels go off and the leader is watching from a distance.
The his wife resigns herself to the fact that for the past hour they had been arguing about them (the 3 young squirrels) going

(How did an hour pass there?) :???:

Anyway it is neat, what happens next? :o


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PostPosted: Monday 29 March 2004 9:52:04am 
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Hufflepuff Prefect and The Half Blood Prince
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Joined: Sunday 15 February 2004 2:01:34pm
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Location: Having dinners with the ewoks
even more competition for you now alice


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PostPosted: Monday 29 March 2004 1:16:24pm 
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Sixth Year
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Joined: Sunday 28 March 2004 6:04:38pm
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Location: Flying around on an old broom
ok thanx for pointing out the 1 hour argument thing...will have to fix that n will write next part soon


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PostPosted: Monday 7 November 2005 1:25:08pm 
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Muggle

Joined: Monday 7 November 2005 1:18:19pm
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Location: .ath.gr
Hi, and congrats on your little story, sounds great!

Probably you are wondering about my nickname here, as I am wondering about the name of your character Penlix in your story! How on earth did you come up with it??

My nick originates from the first bunch of letters on my surname (Pen-lidis) and from the ending -ix, inspired from my Asterix readings back in 1997!

I am dieing to hear your version!!!

Nice to see I am included in a childrens' story!

Kostas

www.penlix.net :cool:


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PostPosted: Tuesday 8 November 2005 3:02:47am 
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Head of the Department of Mysteries
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Awesome, you have a talent in writing.


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