FAREWELL TO ALL MEMBERS FROM US

[TDM]

Sigh...so much for keeping this civil. Gwared, if anything in this post strikes you as offensive, please tell me about it and let ME edit it. I want to take my own actions into account.

I sent Paul a PM of a few URLs of Sonkem doing EXACTLY what Barry had said she was doing. There was no slander on Barry's part. Whether she was doing it in kidding, I wouldn't know. Sarcasm is hard to find when reading.

As for where Paul is, that's his business. There are more important things than this stuff. Sonkem says she knows where he is. If he's confided that in her, so be it. But it's something serious enough that he doesn't want to make it public. If it's something like a death in the family, or something along those lines, send him my deepest sympathies.

This forum does not need people who resort to harrassment by pm and email when things fail to go their way.

Umm...sorry, but she is blaming people here. She's blaming Won, even though she deserved it. What Won did...PMing Sonkem...was NOT the right thing to do. I think it could have been handled civilly, but this topic we're dealing with right now, I fear it cannot be solved with everyone being happy. So, of course, it'll be easier for Paul to ban us all that left once he finally gets back from whatever he is doing.

Gwared, sorry that it finally had to end up with you being angry at us, but I guess that's how it happens. You are a good guy, and I have respect for you. Good luck here at BaO. If you ever miss us, come to the new forum.

[han lin]

ok

well i dont think there is much need for this all to be brought up again i know its a bit late for anyone ( leas tof all me who wasnt here at the time) to say that.

every time this topic or wound as it now seems to be is reopened. nothing is solved. no new ground is covered and it just escalates into an uncivilized row.

no one on either side is willing to listen or to back down. all of the people on this site are very strong minded and they stick to what they believe to be right. very often that is a brilliant thing but on this occasion it.. kindof isnt.

i suggest this topic is iced. for good.

i know its painful and i know it feels unfair for both sides, but until someone wants to listen, anything said will be wasted.

Yes barry's close friend was in hospital when all this was kicking off and he is still the sole carer for her baby. i know he doesnt want this to be held up in his defence however. He knows he was out of order to say the things he did and regrets that it happened the way it did but he isnt sorry for the general content.

I came to BaO quite a long time ago i think. maybe 2 years? i first came here because one of my friends told me it was a laugh. she's left now but i still come here. its such a unique place. i've never been anywhere like it.

i made barry come here and he made helen his flatmate. ( its a vicious cycle) .

i am very worried that the cycle is stopping and the magic is dying.

[Gower]

And Gower, I didn't even know about that but it doesn't count as an excuse to let him do things that would get everyone else banned.

It could be pointed out that u once used your exam stress as an excuse for the occasional nasty post. If u find it necessary to be shown, then i could dig this post up, but I would rather not.

[Morningstar]

I leave the board for a couple of days and this happens.

My thoughts exactly.

...wow... I don't really know what to say. Just that when I came here early this year, it was a fun place to be and everyone was really nice. Even though I doubt very few of you know me because I hardley post anything of much worth, I felt welcomed here. I enjoyed sitting quietly in the back and watching everyone else chat about Harry Potter stuff. Then I leave for a few weeks and WHAM! It seems that everyone's at each other's necks. It's sad, really. But since I only know what people have posted on this thread, I don't really have much to say along the lines of who I think is "right" and who's "wrong." To those who are leaving, Goodbye. I hope you do alright at the other forum. For those who are staying, hopefully we can build BandO back to what it used to be.

...and I hope Paul is Ok; I'm kinda worried about him.

[Groo]

hmm..this is not how we would have liked to leave.. Gwared, if you find this opinion of mine inappropriate, please PM me so.

hanlin, you are absolutely right, this argument would take forever and still achieve no purpose. we could raise lots of points as gower said, but its of no use. i would just like to say one thing :

If I had to choose a side which had one side withdrawn, being sent abusive PM's, having slander written about them in posts, and the other doing or forcing all those things...I can't see how you could choose another side?

excuse me? are you saying that only one side was slandering and the other side was simply at the receiving end? i distinctly remember one member using the word tr**l against another, which is by far the most slanderous word i have seen in my stay at BaO so far, and which is in no way acceptable on a forum board such as BaO under no circumstances whatsoever, according the forum rules that you mentioned. and that member didnt even receive a reprimand for that, in fact it was justified for him. and that was just because he was supporting a certain side. so much for impartiality?

[choki]

The problem is that...this problem started a long long long time ago and it never really ended.

Now, before anyone tries to rebuke anything, think about it...

Have you all heard the full story??? Heard one side of the story and based your points on it??? No one here knows the full story, except perhaps the ones involved.
I'm glad and sad to say that most of us are not involved in this dispute at all. Glad being to say you are not involved in the beginning. Sad being to say you became "involved".

Judging from everything I have seen in the past and present, even with you all gone, this problem would and probably never go away. The root of this problem came from a distant past and it was brought up again, again and again. I guess that's human nature, it's something we cannot change. We, human, doesn't forgive and forget easily. I'm not taking sides...but I seriously have to ask you all to stop digging up old wounds. And I mean everyone.

[Scellanis]

Paul is perfectly fine and healthy...just extremely busy. And he will be back sometime because he is aware of this thread and has seen it already.

Yes I do warn people when I get stressed because stress is the main cause of period pain and mood swings and I did used to be very good at having a short temper then but its improved a great deal now and I don't think I've done a major mood swing for quite a few years because trust me...you'd know if I did and I'd fully expect Paul to ban me for it. Its just habbit to warn friends just incase. I don't resort to insults and things to be banned for on this forum because I respect Paul and love this forum and most of its members too much to contemplate doing a Ringquest to it...I'm just a bit abrupt and even less likely to get a joke.

[Caitlin Pierce]

i think this is all very sad though i totally understand and sympathise with those who are leaving. unlike some of you i WAS here at the beginning of the whole mess and have seen it progress into something which is very out of hand. being a close rl friend to the person the mess is generally attributed to i can say with ease that she would not want the forum to be falling apart despite the animosity she has towards certain members.
as for barry, he is too gentle and would never ever excuse his behaviour on terms of stress even if that stress was unbearable and he was going through some incredibly tough times back home which to quote somebody, 'i am not going to discuss' for one member to be allowed to get away with tantrums because she is stressed and another to be banned for it is unfair. however, its paul's decision of course to do as he will. all i can say to that is that its the people that make the forum. the admin is just one. therefore if everyone who was unhappy left this forum would be nothing. so maybe paul is the guy who pays for the forum but its the members who participate which makes it the great place to be.
thats all i really have to say, to those who are leaving, good luck and god bless you are all wonderful people no matter what and you are totally entitled to your own opinions on the situation. you should be commended on your endevours to remain even when things got hard and then commended for your decision to leave when things you didnt agree with occured. too many people are too apathetic and allow themselves to get swamped by people with more forceful temperments.
i have to agree with choki, it is human nature to bring things up again and again but its inherent in some people to never ever allow it to drop and indeed to allow the story to become further and further from the truth. if people didnt have such huge chips on their shoulders this would all have been dropped a long time ago.
as for this being a hate campaign, dont be ridiculous, this started as a simple goodbye plus reasons why those people were leaving. seriously, paranoia and incessent whinning is sometimes the cause of so many problems, for example the reason why this has become a hostile thread. if everyone had simply said, 'ok, they are leaving, those are their reasons, they are entitled to their own opinions, good luck to them' this would never have happened!!!!!

[Caitlin Pierce]

Please, oh please, do not go down this path! There is no blame in either of Scellanis's posts. Merely a goodbye, a personal opinion, and a warning. This was exactly was Barry did...

(forgot to put this in the other post)

barry got banned for doing it though didnt he?

[Meg Boyd]

Ok people, time for everyone to take a breather...

Meanwhile back at the BaO Ranch, I would just like to recap and resay goodbye and good luck to all of those who have decided to leave based on their opinions. For all of us who decide to stay for what ever reasons, let us forget about the past and try and focus on the future. The past scars are too deep to heal, so why not just put some damn neosporine and gauze over it just to get it off our minds? Meaning, we can't fix the past, and just reopening the wound isn't going to make the scar go away, in fact it will only make the wound deeper and the scar last longer. The only way to heal a wound and to minimize the scar is to gloss it over with some ointment and some gauze and FORGET about it. Yeah, it might still sting but in the end it is for the best!

So everyone please take a breather, grab some hypothetical ointment and get over it. If you are leaving, take this chance to learn from everyone's mistakes and make the next forum you go to the best you can make it. If you are staying, let us learning from everyone's mistakes and make this forum the best we can make it. Alright? Alright.

I love you all, and please remember to smile.

Megsie

[Scellanis]

Excuse me, read more carefully...the point of my post above is that I have not had a stress tantrum on this forum.....I'd be banned if I had. The warnings for when I'm stressed is purely habit to give friends prior warning I may not be as bouncy as normal. But as you can imagine, after at least 5 years of pain and mood swings every month I'm actually able to control them mostly now.

[Mint]

I find this thread very damaging to our forum. All of the new members that joined recently go to Great Hall and read stickies and find This thread...

All of the people who decided to leave - thats very sad, I hope you will enjoy wherever you are going - but why come back to this thread with new arguments. I want this forum to gain more active members and you are killing it for all of us! I forwarded a friend to this website and he saw this thread and asked me "Oh is it that bad in here?"!!!

What is the purpose of this thread anyway? I thought you just wanted to say goodbuy and explain why you are leaving? If its soo - you made your point already. I was waiting for this to be over but its trully never ending.

I believe that this thread needs to be removed from the stickies. If you have issues with whoever on this website or even Paul - pm him. If he doesn't respond to you or does things his way - i want to remind you that this is HIS board.

And if you are angry at me for posting this - I am very sorry that I care about this forum.

[Gower]

I think this thread will not only be removed from the stickies, I imagine Paul will remove it when he returns.

[TDM]

I can vouch for that. Paul will burn this thread into the pits of...well, you know where.

We were trying to leave, but someone mentioned this, (I don't remember who, and I wouldn't say if I did), and the argumentative boy I am, I just jumped right in. Sorry about keeping this going. But we're leaving. Let us go in peace. I'll continue to check this thread for awhile, to make sure no one posts snide comments about us. So, if no one posts, we're done! Otherwise, I'll be back and arguing.

[Groo]

I want this forum to gain more active members and you are killing it for all of us!

erm..sorry, but it is precisely such comments that make us come back and check this thread.

if you check, this thread started on the 20th of October. Within the span of the next 3 or 4 days, we had all posted our farewells and other members had wished us goodbye. But then began the snide comments against us and despite Meg and choki's timely appeals to forgive and forget, this hasnt happened.
if you want this thread to die, then everyone just put a full stop, and we all are gone forever.