Mid-Life is a great time for Women?? This is very funny!

[Alice I]

My mom sent this e-mail to me. As I am turning 40 in a very short time I found this quite funny and the scary part is I identified with quite a bit of it

Mid-life is a great time for women??
Author: unknown

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women.
Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be....

Puhleeeeeeeze!

I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you.

Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60
(or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms,
we have wingspans.
We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts,
we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a
mirror and you can see your rear without turning
around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you
realize that this is the only time someone will ask
you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young
lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even
the Roman empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us
curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing
teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go.
In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes
Legs By Rand McNally -- more red and blue lines than
an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions.
What is life?
Why am I here?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can
I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for
what is important.

We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double,
but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile.

Would any of you trade the knowledge that
you have now for the body you had way back when?

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and
love we've acquired.

That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

[Krum]

one word:
eww...

[fierce]

Alice, that's really funny. Some of that stuff I have heard my mum lamenting about (she just turned 50 this year - a huge party!). But she's especially worried that she's going slightly senile - which is sooo not true! But if you ever correct her on something that she said previously and is now contradicting, she gets really upset! I mean, everyone does that right? I forget things I said five minutes ago! Which is a bit of a worry, not because i think i'm losing my mind, but because I sometimes change course and no one knows where i'm at.

But, If i am even half the woman my mum is when i am her age i'd be blissfully happy. She's amazing. And there were so many people there with her to celebrate her 50th year who could all say the same thing! (except for the guys... cos that'd be weird ) But the point is that it's all worth it, i guess.

But Krum - i think you missed the point

[Female_alien]

lol I need to show this to my mum! She'll fall over laughing!!

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and
love we've acquired.

Yeah, I specially like this one