Making Friends

[Broomsberry]

Blossoms!

Yes I have trouble with that. The few good friends I have were all resulted from them deciding to make friends with me. I'm a quiet person. I find it hard starting a conversation with anyone. Someone else always speaks to me first. One of my friends once did an experiment on me by not talking to me and see whether I would say anything to them first.

Any ideas on how to become a more lively person?

[Holly Golightly]

Well, I'd say that I'm definately a lively person, but I'm not quite sure how you go about doing it...

I just usually have an opinion on everything and feel the need to tell them to people!
Or I just blurt out whatever is on my mind... come to think of it, maybe that's not such a good think! I'm sure you will notice that if you read my posts though! Some of them are a bit random!

[Scellanis]

i have this problem too....only offline though.....perfectly good at being noisy and lively online though.....

[ElvenMist]

Yeah, same here. I'm amazingly quiet in school, except here and around my close friends. As for advice, I don't know if I have anything specific to say. Hmm. I try to say something to people if I end up next to them, just to start conversation. The only problem is, people aren't always as interested in talking as I am. I mean, they all have their own friends, therefore people often reply with short, uninterested answers. Usually my conversations revolve around school, since most people are not obsessed with HP or LotR. Like what's going on int my classes, or all the homework I'm getting, or how sports are. People always like to talk about their sports, that's always a conversation starter. But other than what I've said, I don't really know. It's easier said than done, I know.
On this subject, any tips for having conversations with guys. I am amazingly bad. I never kno what to say, even when I just want to have a friendly conversation with a guy, just to talk to a person...

[Holly Golightly]

Well,I do tend to ramble when I am nervous for some reason or othere, but I find that I tend to get along with guys more than girls...

Especially some of hte girls that I know, as sthey seem to want to do is hang around and complain about someone who's not there at that point in time, and then, go and recite everything that anyone else said to tehm later... I cant' handle that kind of decietfulness... guys mainly aren't like that. If they have a problem with you, they tell you, and I'm very like that!

Uni is much different to school for socialising, but I normally hang out with them watching TV, playing cards, drinking... just whatever!

As for a piece of advice, with my guy friends anyways, speak to them... Don't just hang around in a corner, trying to pretend for all your worth that your not there... just join in on the conversation! They might tell your that they think that your opinion is stuipd sometimes, but it's not meant as a personal insult, just that they disagree with you on that point...

Anyways, that's just how I see things!

[Neo]

I have pretty much the same problem, I don't talk too much (I'm serious, posting is a different thing); I mean I always think taht te others aren't going to be interested in what I say, so I shut up before even trying.

[Holly Golightly]

Well, that's where I seem to be very different then! Much like when posting inthe forum, I'm nt allt aht concerned wehter others think that what I am saying is important or not... it just never occurs to me to think about tings like that when I am saying stuff!
I think that what I am saying is important/interesting, so I am going to say it, and that's all there is to it!

I mean, I am not a complete freak, I dont' go about saying things taht are nasty or hurtful to others, jsut becuase they pop into my head, but if I think that I have a vaild or interesting point, I tell people!

[azn wizard]

yea...im pretty quiet wit my friends...
how to make friends? lemme see...
i joined in a lot of activities where you do meet new people
i guess try not to be so shy...act like the way u do online...be a little more open to conversation...
i dunno anymore...

[Neo]

I'm open to conversation (most times), but usually people aren't in the modd of talking so it becomes very difficult.

[JessicaMalfoy]

It's very hard for me to make friends but then again I am antisocial and paranoid

But before those things came I had a hard time making friends because of me being so shy. But Now that I because Paranoid and antisocial ppl seem to like me more now.

[Neo]

that's weird, no?

[littlelib]

Well im just like i am off line as i am on line - but i have one group of really good freinds who help me with all my problems and make me laugh and stuff.

I dont really know what to say to help only that if you smile people always think you are happy. If i see someone smiling at me then i smile back or say hi!

[Mint]

i joined in a lot of activities where you do meet new people

That is the ultimate solution. You have to have smth in common with them.

Also, you have to be an interesting person, like know all different things that are going on, so people will want to talk to you. Don't restrict yourself to 1 thing, you have to be sorta "Jack of all trades" - that totally helps (to keep discussion going and so on).

I have no prob. comming up to strangers and starting a conversation. If Im in a new class or place - the first thing I do is go around and try to get to know as many people as possible.

My problem is that I can't keep them friends....Like after I know them - Im too lazy to continue talking to them and so on Thats why I only have couple of TRUE friends.

You have to put ALOT into friendship in order for it to grow or even to just keep it stable.

[Neo]

I agree with Mint; I mean I have a couple ot TRUE friends, and usually get along pretty well with people I already know, but eeting new people isn't that easy for me; How am I suppose to know that they are interested in what I say?

[TDM]

friends...offline friends, anyway. i've only ever had 3 good friends. one died in the third grade, another moved away because his mom had a "vision" from God saying that they had to move while hopped up on pain medication after a surgery. the last one stabbed me in the back, and then moved away.

like a lot of people here, i also have problems making friends offline. my advice, though coming from someone with the same problem and no end in sight, is to go somewhere that you have something in common with all of the people. i did, and i have a few friends, but not really good friends. most of the good friends i know i got from forums, and i talk to almost daily online. as for that...it's just comforting to know that someone cares...