by Centaur Lord » Friday 12 September 2003 12:39:59am
Devinci, once i saw your post, i couldnt resist putting this on here. I completely agree with you. One of my friends who also happens to hate those stupid forwards sent me this one, that is making fun of them. I just about killed myself laughing...
Hello,
My name is none of your business. I am suffering from seven rare
and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being mauled by
squirrels, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion chain letters sent
to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that
poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a potato growing out of her
forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly
believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his"
email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere If I scroll down
this page and make a wish, I'll meet the girl (or guy) of my dreams
tomorrow What a bunch of junk. So basically, this message is directed to
all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me
stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil letter leprechauns will come
into my house and write "I'm a moron" on my forehead in permanent marker
in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by a knight of
the round table and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2005, it'll be in the Guinness
Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a
nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. It's getting
old. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own
unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> > Chain Letter Type 1:
> >
> > (scroll down)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Make a wish
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > No, really, go on and make one
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Oh please, they'll never go out with you
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Wish something else
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > No, I'm sorry, we're out of ponies at the time being
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Have you forgotten why you're scrolling yet?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > STOP
> >
> >
> >Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.
> >Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you
> >don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be
> >kidnapped by ninja elves and thrown off a high building into a pile of
> >manure. It's true Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones,
> >THIS one is TRUE Really.
> >Here's how it goes:
> > *Send this to 1 person: One person will be annoyed with you for
> >sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be annoyed with you for
> >sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > *Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be annoyed with you for
> >sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
> > *Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be annoyed with you for
> >sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
> > Thanks Good Luck
> >
> > Chain Letter Type 2:
> >Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a
> >starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
> >legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
> >because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
> >Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
> >Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails
> >sent and this is all a complete load of junk. So go on reach out. Send
> >this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you
> >accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly Thanks
> >again
> >
> > Chain Letter Type 3:
> >
> >Hi there This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
> >absolutely Incredible because there was no email then and probably not as
> >many sad email addicts with nothing better to do. So this is how it
> >works:
> >1. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
> >horrible will happen to you like:
> >
> > *Bizarre Horror Story* #1
> >Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
> >recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack
> >in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a
> >flood of poop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she
> >smell nasty, she died too.
> > This Could Happen To You
> >
> > *Bizarre Horror Story* 2
> >Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored
> >it. Later that day, He was crushed by an anvil that was dropped by a
> >plane that just happened to be flying directly above him.
> >This Could Happen To You Too
> >
> >2. Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this
> >letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
> > Chain Letter Type 4:
> >As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of
> >your friends.
> >
> > Friends
> > Blah, Blah, Blah,
> > Friends,
> > Blah, Blah, Blah.
> >
> > A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants
> >his wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on If you don't, no
> >one will like you for as long as you live. I mean it, as long as you
> >live. The point being?
> > *If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you
> >friendless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
> >*If it's funny, send it on. Don't annoy people by making them feel guilty
> >about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead
> >elephant for 27 years, whose only chance of living is the 5 cents per
> >letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up
> >like Miranda. Right?
> >
> > *******Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find all
> >your socks missing tomorrow morning.
oh well, my biggest pet peeve is very very VERY 
i, as well, hate stupid forwards. the worst are the friend ones, to me. "friendship is like a rose... send this to all your friends and the ones who send it back are your only real friends." uh... right. we do, after all, need a chain letter to find out if we have friends or not. (sarcastically)
) 
