Unhappy freind

[master_o_magic]

Hey everyone,

I have a freind. Shes so beautiful and shes really smart and funny and jsut an all-round great freind.
Shes had some troubles in her life though- her parents divorced, she hates her mums boyfreind, shes been diognosed with depression twice, she has a very large lack of confidence, shes had a foot disease, she needs braces, she told me one day she hates her self. once she has tried to commit suicide.

Please tell me what to do, shes a great freind but her lack of confidence shadows her personality and because of it she is loosing freinds.

What should i do. Also tell me about your problems like this. and your freinds!



~Master_o_Magic~

[Nobby]

I have a friend exactly like that. I think the best thing is to work on her confidence first! it worked a dream with a my friend. then once her confidence is boosted the other things worrying her will dissolve to. trust me my sister was exactly the same too.

[master_o_magic]

thanks shes a really special freind and i dun wanna loose her

~Master~

[TDM]

well, she kinda sounds like me to some extent. she feels left out, and as if nothing goes her way. trust me, it sounds a lot like me. i really don't know how to solve a problem like that. just tell her that she's really important to you. i've been told that, and extreme things (suicide, etc.) have been completely forced out of my mind.

[master_o_magic]

yeah.. i will have to, today she seemed really happy, shes got a boyfreind that shes been with for 4 months and she tells him everything, he mighta cheered her up

[Nobby]

A steady boyfriend must really b boosted her confidence

[master_o_magic]

yeah, but lately hes become distant. i think it will end soon because they have been fighting a bit. idk.

~Master~

p.s have any of you got any problems liek mine????

[fierce]

I think you should tell your friend how much you appreciate her being your friend. Being appreciated by someone else can really strengthen your feeling of self-worth and acceptance.

I've been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety disorders... You don't get over it, but you live through it and eventually life and each day seems to brighten. But having great friends (like you are to your friend!) around really helps.

[Violet]

I know what it's like to be here, i lost my father when i was a little girl, and a great number of other things have happened since then. So i have got very depressed before, and began to shrink back into myself and become really withdrawn.
Since then my friend have been brilliant. I found that them making me go out and do things certainly made me feel a lot better.

I also have friends who have similar problems, it is very hard if they arent repsonsive to your efforts though, in which case i think you just have to reassure her that you are there for her, and keep trying to make her feel better about herself.

[Aberforth]

I have suffered from problems in my own life - depression, alcoholism but am now turning my life around because of my wife, who is also my best friend.

Firstly, I think you friend needs counselling. If she is suicidal, then she definitely needs professional help but she must want to go herself otherwise it won't work. Secondly, keep her busy doing stuff. Prt of depression means you don't want to do anything and you end up wallowing in it. She needs to go out places, have fun.

If she breaks up with her boyfriend, be there for her and offer sympathy and reassurance that she is desirable and people will like her even though this relationship didn't work out.

[Athena Appleton]

I definately agree with what Aberforth said. I've struggled with depression for as long as I can remember.

The most important thing he said, though, is that SHE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP! If she's suicidal, it isn't up to you to help her through that alone, she needs a professional to help her. As a friend, you can tell her that, and that you're there for her, but if it has gotton to the point where a hug and a shoulder to cry on doesn't do the trick, she needs the help of someone trained to help in these situations.

He's right, though, one thing you can do is help keep her busy, encourage her to do things that you know she enjoys (even if she doesn't seem to enjoy it anymore, that is one of the main symptoms of depression, losing interest in what you liked doing)...

This is just my personal feelings, based on my own experience, but I feel like single people (not married, not in a really committed relationship) need to be single to work through depression. It's too easy to depend on a boyfriend or girlfriend, thinking you're doing better, then your world comes crashing down around you if/when it doesn't work. Just my opinion... as in, if she and her boyfriend break up I would encourage her to stay single for a while until she's able to work through this...

[Alice I]

Stick with your friend even if she doesn't seem to respond. Depression is an insidious problem; Fierce is right about never really getting over depression but you can live through it. See if your friend will talk with her mother about this. Aberforth is very correct in saying that she needs to see a professional, so encourage her to seek counseling. There are may medications out there that a good clinition can perscribe that will make a world of difference also.

But the most important thing that you can do for your friend is to check on her very often and keep letting her know that you care.