I don't know what i want to do with my life....

[Plep]

Hi,

Maybe i should give you some background information:

I finished highschool one and a half years ago and after that i began with a study in Aerospace Engineering.
I never really felt on my place at that university though. Of course i knew the people i went to my courses with, but i didn't have real friends like i have at home. This also made me feel very homesick, i really missed my mom and my brothers, even though i used to see them at the weekends.
It took some time for me to admit this, and i'm still a bit ashamed of it (come on i'm 19 years old, i shouldn't be homesick!)....i always said that i was really looking forward to leaving home and the town in which i grew up...i never realised how much i was attached to my family and friends i have here. I lost my father when i was younger. I think that's the reason i'm afraid to live seperated from them...

Because i didn't feel good at that university i spent way too little time studying...in highschool i passed all exams easily without studying but at university that's a bit different...i really failed a lot of exams....
After failing yet another exam i decided that i couldn't go on like that and quit the study, that's almost 2 months ago now. I'm currently back at home, trying to find a decend job until August when i'll be starting on another study.

The problem is that i'm now trying to figure out what i want to do, but i really don't know! The one moment i want to become a doctor and the other moment an engineer and yet another moment something completely different...
At the moment there's only one study that's sounds interesting and that's biomedical engineering. The good thing is that i could stay at home, that university is close by, but the bad thing is that i don't really know if that is what i want to do for the rest of my life...

aargh why does it have to be so hard???

I don't really know why i want to post the story of my life here but i'll post it anyway...it did make me feel a bit better now i've written this down

[Alice I]

It took some time for me to admit this, and i'm still a bit ashamed of it (come on i'm 19 years old, i shouldn't be homesick!)

That is nothing to be ashamed of. Rather feel proud that you have such close ties with your family. 8)
If the school at home looks good then do that. Nothing is written in stone, you can always change your major. If you are really undecided and don't want to spend money on courses that you won't end up needing then get all the liberal arts stuff that you have to have done and out of the way. You can do that and stay home at the same time. It buys you time to figure out what you want to do while still moving forward toward your eventual goal.

Chin Up
and good luck

[Krum]

Yeah. it's nothing to be ashamed of-find a university near your home and you'll be okay...I think.
Or you can always be the car window-cleaner in a gas station.And you can live off tips n' potato chips

[Athena Appleton]

haha, don't feel ashamed at all! I'm 24 years old, grew up in a small town I wanted to get out of the second I got my high school diploma, then I went off to college, got homesick (and had some other problems) and flunked out... Now I have less of an idea than ever what I want to do with my life.

One thing I've learned: the older you get, the more you miss (and need) your mommy. I was doing okay living somewhat away from my mom and dad and sisters, but then I had my first child, and all of a sudden, I wanted to move back home.

The others are right. Don't put yourself down for completely normal feelings. And Alice has a point: be proud that you care so much about your family. They'll be around longer than anyone else, anyway.

Get into a school closer to home (even like an hour away... I live an hour away from my mom and sisters now, and it works out great... we still have the independance we need, and we still get to see them often.

[Plep]

Thanks for the wonderful replies!

Normally, a post like this is really rare for me, i'm very introvert so i have a hard time showing my feelings (guess that's a guy thing...), but i dunno....you're all so nice!

[Gwared]

I'm 23, I graduated last year in Genetics and I still am not sure what I want to do. For the first three months after graduation I applied for loads of jobs, none of which I really wanted to do. But eventually I've found something that may be something I want to do so I've gone for it. If its not, I guess I can look again, but I agree...it's really differcult to find your feet at the start.

Biomedical Engineering sounds interesting though...but you never know unless you try.

[Athena Appleton]

I've about decided that I want to do counseling (goodness knows, I've had enough of it)

I don't know, right now, it doesn't really make much difference what I want to do after I get back into school, because I'll have to wait at least until after my 7-month-old is in school (another five years or so)...