Why are things always confusing??

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Why are things always confusing??

Postby AccioNiffler » Monday 21 July 2003 6:07:09am

Sometimes I feel like I need a Pensieve, *AccioNiffler rubs her temples with a confused look on her face*

It's not like I have this horrible life, it's just that I keep having these tiny problems that keep stacking higher and higher, and I'm starting to loose control, and soon this stack is going to fall :cry: . I decided to post about this because none of my friends are helping me that much. I just want some advice from people who see it from the outside.

A good part of my problems involve boys (I know, so cliche :rolleyes: ). The weird part is that these problems are very new. See, I'm bipolar, so I have to take Lithium, and I've been on it for a little over a year. For the first year, it completely shut down my libido, and just recently that side effect has worn off. This lead to my completely innocent crush on my friend Sean to grow. We always hang out, and everyone says we're dating, but it's nothing official, especially because I dont want a boyfriend. Recently though, one night at his house while watching a movie, our friendship had a few benifits added, know what I mean ;) ? I was like yay :grin: , this is fine...friends with benifits, even though it totally didnt work out last time I did this with someone, I can make it work this time. But now I wonder if that's true, because he hasnt called or anything since that night :( So I dont know how I should feel about that. I think that he had to go on a trip maybe to go to a wedding, but I'm not positive on that.
The other boy thing is my ex. I broke up with this guy like 2 years ago, and like now I'm talking to him on the computer :typing: . He says the most inappropriate things :eek: , and he always wants to hang out and finally I said ok. I'm seeing him on Thursday, and I dont know what to do because I dont like him as anymore than a friend. I know what he wants from this get together (dinner and a movie) but I know that I dont want that at all. I'm confused how to act.
My friend Sarah is having all these boyfriend problems, and she keeps asking me about it. I dont mind that she does that, but its gotten to this weird spot where she's telling me the same things over and over, and it feels like she's trying to make me jealous (which may be working a little...) maybe its just me, but still, it bothers me.

The other thing that's getting to me (last thing, I promise) is my best friend Lindasy. She is changing so much. This last year, she went to this really fancy private school, and she has all these new friends now. "Oh Christina, let me introduce you to Corina, she's from Germany, she's so great, she does this and that, and she likes girls and boys, and she can jump tall buildings in a single bound and she can blahblahblah... :x ) She's like pushing these friends of hers on me, and they dont like me, and I dont like them. Aparently she told them about my disease and all the struggles that came with it (self injury, etc.) and what did they do? They made fun of me. Lindasy barely said anything, hello, why doesnt she stick up for her best friend :mad: ?! Lately she's been all into activism and stuff, and pushing her morals on me, and I dont really like that. Its like "hey, you may hate this or that, but I dont and never will, leave me alone about it." She told me that I was shallow, vain, self centered, selfish and mean. Well yes, I admit it, I probably am, but never to her, I mean never to my best friend. Why is she acting like this, I dont know :???: ??

So I guess what I'm asking is how should I deal with this? I dont know what to do with it all. Its too much information, too many complicated subjects all swimming around in my head *AccioNiffler looks around for her non-exsistant pensieve*

Sorry this is so long, if anyone gets through it, good job! I think I just needed to vent, sorry :oops:
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Re: Why are things always confusing??

Postby Gwared » Monday 21 July 2003 1:09:53pm

AccioNiffler wrote:Sometimes I feel like I need a Pensieve, *AccioNiffler rubs her temples with a confused look on her face*

It's not like I have this horrible life, it's just that I keep having these tiny problems that keep stacking higher and higher, and I'm starting to loose control, and soon this stack is going to fall :cry: . I decided to post about this because none of my friends are helping me that much. I just want some advice from people who see it from the outside.

A good part of my problems involve boys (I know, so cliche :rolleyes: ). The weird part is that these problems are very new. See, I'm bipolar, so I have to take Lithium, and I've been on it for a little over a year. For the first year, it completely shut down my libido, and just recently that side effect has worn off. This lead to my completely innocent crush on my friend Sean to grow. We always hang out, and everyone says we're dating, but it's nothing official, especially because I dont want a boyfriend. Recently though, one night at his house while watching a movie, our friendship had a few benifits added, know what I mean ;) ? I was like yay :grin: , this is fine...friends with benifits, even though it totally didnt work out last time I did this with someone, I can make it work this time. But now I wonder if that's true, because he hasnt called or anything since that night :( So I dont know how I should feel about that. I think that he had to go on a trip maybe to go to a wedding, but I'm not positive on that.
The other boy thing is my ex. I broke up with this guy like 2 years ago, and like now I'm talking to him on the computer :typing: . He says the most inappropriate things :eek: , and he always wants to hang out and finally I said ok. I'm seeing him on Thursday, and I dont know what to do because I dont like him as anymore than a friend. I know what he wants from this get together (dinner and a movie) but I know that I dont want that at all. I'm confused how to act.
My friend Sarah is having all these boyfriend problems, and she keeps asking me about it. I dont mind that she does that, but its gotten to this weird spot where she's telling me the same things over and over, and it feels like she's trying to make me jealous (which may be working a little...) maybe its just me, but still, it bothers me.

The other thing that's getting to me (last thing, I promise) is my best friend Lindasy. She is changing so much. This last year, she went to this really fancy private school, and she has all these new friends now. "Oh Christina, let me introduce you to Corina, she's from Germany, she's so great, she does this and that, and she likes girls and boys, and she can jump tall buildings in a single bound and she can blahblahblah... :x ) She's like pushing these friends of hers on me, and they dont like me, and I dont like them. Aparently she told them about my disease and all the struggles that came with it (self injury, etc.) and what did they do? They made fun of me. Lindasy barely said anything, hello, why doesnt she stick up for her best friend :mad: ?! Lately she's been all into activism and stuff, and pushing her morals on me, and I dont really like that. Its like "hey, you may hate this or that, but I dont and never will, leave me alone about it." She told me that I was shallow, vain, self centered, selfish and mean. Well yes, I admit it, I probably am, but never to her, I mean never to my best friend. Why is she acting like this, I dont know :???: ??

So I guess what I'm asking is how should I deal with this? I dont know what to do with it all. Its too much information, too many complicated subjects all swimming around in my head *AccioNiffler looks around for her non-exsistant pensieve*

Sorry this is so long, if anyone gets through it, good job! I think I just needed to vent, sorry :oops:


Hmm (I always start with hmm :-? ), Let's go from the top;

When you have many, many problems the best thing is to try and tackle one at a time. Otherwise you just scream at the vastness of your task and achieve nothing. When you takle one by one the completion spurs you on to the next.

I'm afraid I know nothing about bipolarism, and I've never done the friends+ thing so I can't really help you. He may however be using you dependent on your age. I would say if you are <18 you may need to seriously think about it. It may be he has left town for a while and your concern is unfounded.

Your ex; see what happens when you go out. If he tries anything say you just want to be friends, if he tries again, throw him as far as you can and forget about him.

Your friend who is attempting to inspire jealously probably is, if she's doing what I imagine she is. It's a phase that will pass.

Lindsey, sadly school has an enourmous inpact on people due to peer pressure. She is changing to fit in and as a result will not defend you for risk of losing her new friends who she will see more often at school. Unless she is a strong character this will persist. You may have to give her some space and arrange trips with just the two of you so she can act her natural self.

I have a friend who has suddenly become a bit of an activist, he fortunately is content with telling me his reasons and a bit of debate, than converting me. However, this again is probably a fitting in thing.

My best advice would be, try to deal with one problem at a time.

My best wishes

Gwared. :)
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Postby AccioNiffler » Monday 21 July 2003 4:45:56pm

Thanks for tring to help me out with my confusing life :D And congratulations on actually reading everything that I wrote! But yeah, I'll try to deal with one thing at a time, things tend to be overwhelming otherwise. Thanks again :D
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Postby Gwared » Monday 21 July 2003 10:24:14pm

I'm sorry I couldn't give you better advice but my experiences are limited, and my own life is screwed up enough as it is (In a test to see if I was stressed enough to have a nervous breakdown I ticked every box of major life stresses bar the close family member dying box - and currently two of my aunts are on chemo. So if they happen to pass before November I can say with some confidence that this will have been, and probably will be for all time, the worst year of my life :( ).
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Postby AccioNiffler » Monday 21 July 2003 10:38:09pm

I'm sorry to hear about that, I had a friend go through chemo, it was tough on everyone. You sound like you have it tougher than me! I hope that you feel better soon, and dont have a nervous breakdown. (I know this was my post complaing about stuff, but I feel bad complaing about my petty problems when there are people with bigger problems)
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Re: Why are things always confusing??

Postby Hermione Weasley » Tuesday 22 July 2003 3:56:46am

AccioNiffler wrote:The other boy thing is my ex. I broke up with this guy like 2 years ago, and like now I'm talking to him on the computer :typing: . He says the most inappropriate things :eek: , and he always wants to hang out and finally I said ok. I'm seeing him on Thursday, and I dont know what to do because I dont like him as anymore than a friend. I know what he wants from this get together (dinner and a movie) but I know that I dont want that at all. I'm confused how to act.

ok so the thing with the ex i agree with Gwared definatley see how it goes on the date with him I am also having the same problem but the only problem is the fact that we live in different states. so we wont act on our "feelings"
Gwared sorry about your aunts I know how it goes with family members in chemo my Grandmother used to have a tumor i think you read about it in another thread, but if you ever need someone to talk to just pm me and i would love to listen.
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Postby Gwared » Tuesday 22 July 2003 11:54:25am

AccioNiffler wrote:I'm sorry to hear about that, I had a friend go through chemo, it was tough on everyone. You sound like you have it tougher than me! I hope that you feel better soon, and dont have a nervous breakdown. (I know this was my post complaing about stuff, but I feel bad complaing about my petty problems when there are people with bigger problems)


Hmm, thank you AccioNiffler and Hermione Weasley. However, I'll refrain from discussing my problems on a thread not dedicated to me.

Best of luck Accio. :)
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Postby Mint » Tuesday 22 July 2003 1:12:20pm

Hmmm....about going on a friend date with your xboyfriend, I haven't yet met a person who is "just friends" with their x. May be it will work out for you, but I doubt that he just wants a friend date. In my opinion Xs will never be your "friends".

Just be carefull when you go with him, stay alert the whole time, and don't respond to his flirting.
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Postby AccioNiffler » Tuesday 22 July 2003 3:55:03pm

Mint wrote:Just be carefull when you go with him, stay alert the whole time, and don't respond to his flirting.


Thanks Mint :) I dont think I'll have to worry about his flirting *AccioNiffler is rolling on the floor laughing while everyone wonders why* My ex, Adam, was never good in the flirting department, whatever flirting abilities he has, he learned from me, and, how should I put this? Adam is not the greatest student :lol: :lol: :lol:

all who have read this: Thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my probably borning problem, I appreciate it :)
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Postby Lolita Banana » Friday 1 August 2003 5:48:28pm

The one thing that I really can give you advice about is Sean. Right now if you are friends with benifits he knows you like him (obviously) or are at least attracted to him. Do you really like this boy? Would you consider him b/f material? I think you should snag him before he may have an interest in someone else. (I've been there, it isn't fun) You don't wnat him to think that is all you want because he's a guy he will think it. I think you are a wonderful person and you don't need Lindsey to make fun of you. I guess :err: she isn't a real friend. I hate when people change like that :( . Stay happy :D I'll post here again
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Postby AccioNiffler » Friday 1 August 2003 5:58:52pm

Thanks Lolita! Yeah, I really do like Sean, and the thing is I don't want t boyfriend right now though. I wouldn't mind dating him, it's pretty much what were doing now. I know what you mean by him liking someone else and how much that could hurt, because I've had that happen once before ( :cry: but I'm over that now...) And with Lindsay, she's getting worse and worse. I'm supposed to go camping for a week and a half with her and a couple of other friends, I decided that I would talk to her about it then. We leave on the 6th and don't get back till the 16th, so I have plenty of times to talk to her about it. Thanks for your help :)
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Postby Lolita Banana » Friday 1 August 2003 6:36:11pm

No problem. I'll keep checking back.
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Postby han lin » Saturday 2 August 2003 3:48:26pm

good luck talking things over for your camping trip thing.

Maybe you could 'see' this guy you wouldn't have to be a propper couple but it would be more official if you said that maybe?

anyway good luck
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