Sometimes I feel like I need a Pensieve, *AccioNiffler rubs her temples with a confused look on her face*
It's not like I have this horrible life, it's just that I keep having these tiny problems that keep stacking higher and higher, and I'm starting to loose control, and soon this stack is going to fall

. I decided to post about this because none of my friends are helping me that much. I just want some advice from people who see it from the outside.
A good part of my problems involve boys (I know, so cliche

). The weird part is that these problems are very new. See, I'm bipolar, so I have to take Lithium, and I've been on it for a little over a year. For the first year, it completely shut down my libido, and just recently that side effect has worn off. This lead to my completely innocent crush on my friend Sean to grow. We always hang out, and everyone says we're dating, but it's nothing official, especially because I dont want a boyfriend. Recently though, one night at his house while watching a movie, our friendship had a few benifits added, know what I mean

? I was like yay

, this is fine...friends with benifits, even though it totally didnt work out last time I did this with someone, I can make it work this time. But now I wonder if that's true, because he hasnt called or anything since that night

So I dont know how I should feel about that. I think that he had to go on a trip maybe to go to a wedding, but I'm not positive on that.
The other boy thing is my ex. I broke up with this guy like 2 years ago, and like now I'm talking to him on the computer

. He says the most inappropriate things

, and he always wants to hang out and finally I said ok. I'm seeing him on Thursday, and I dont know what to do because I dont like him as anymore than a friend. I know what he wants from this get together (dinner and a movie) but I know that I dont want that at all. I'm confused how to act.
My friend Sarah is having all these boyfriend problems, and she keeps asking me about it. I dont mind that she does that, but its gotten to this weird spot where she's telling me the same things over and over, and it feels like she's trying to make me jealous (which may be working a little...) maybe its just me, but still, it bothers me.
The other thing that's getting to me (last thing, I promise) is my best friend Lindasy. She is changing so much. This last year, she went to this really fancy private school, and she has all these new friends now. "Oh Christina, let me introduce you to Corina, she's from Germany, she's so great, she does this and that, and she likes girls and boys, and she can jump tall buildings in a single bound and she can blahblahblah...

) She's like pushing these friends of hers on me, and they dont like me, and I dont like them. Aparently she told them about my disease and all the struggles that came with it (self injury, etc.) and what did they do? They made fun of me. Lindasy barely said anything, hello, why doesnt she stick up for her best friend

?! Lately she's been all into activism and stuff, and pushing her morals on me, and I dont really like that. Its like "hey, you may hate this or that, but I dont and never will, leave me alone about it." She told me that I was shallow, vain, self centered, selfish and mean. Well yes, I admit it, I probably am, but never to her, I mean never to my best friend. Why is she acting like this, I dont know

??
So I guess what I'm asking is how should I deal with this? I dont know what to do with it all. Its too much information, too many complicated subjects all swimming around in my head *AccioNiffler looks around for her non-exsistant pensieve*
Sorry this is so long, if anyone gets through it, good job! I think I just needed to vent, sorry
